Welcome to FORTYsomething

Join me for honest conversations with women about midlife

Every time a new year rolls around, I get Prince’s 1999 stuck in my head (with the new year inserted, of course). So, last year I partied like 2024. But this year, instead of partying like it’s 2025, I’m partying like it’s 1985: the year I was born. This year, I’ll party like it’s 1985 because this year, is the year I turn 40.

I’ve had 40 on my brain for a while now; I can remember conversations at least two or three years ago with friends about how I was already starting to say my age was “almost 40,” even though I was a few years away from the milestone. I noticed a shift, a change in energy, almost like another coming of age. It wasn’t necessarily a midlife crisis, but an undercurrent that something big was happening or about to happen. The only periods in my life to which I can compare the sensation are adolescence and matrescence (becoming a mother)—transformative times that re-shaped who I was, how I saw myself, and how I interacted with the world. So what is it about midlife and turning 40 that have thrust the same sense of change and transformation into the forefront of my mind?

I’ve noticed the changes in all areas of my life. Mentally, I’ve begun to feel an urgent need to create—a desire to try new writing styles, genres, and media; a newfound audacity to share art more freely; wanting my writing to engage more with the world. I noticed physical changes and realized, holy crap, I was entering the period of perimenopause. And spiritually, I approach my life with more questions than answers—something that might have surprised me as a young person, hoping the answers to big questions would reveal themselves with time.

Two years ago, I read something Anne Helen Petersen wrote about this time period in a woman’s life. In her essay, "Are you in the Portal?, AHP gives credit for naming and defining The Portal to Anja Tyson, who suggested describing this period of life as, “the weird spiritual / emotional / professional / transitional portal that women ages 37 to 45 are in.” So, yes—yes, Anne Helen Petersen, to answer your titular question, I was, and am, in The Portal.

So, for the past two years (or longer), I’ve been thinking about this stage of life I’m in, looking ahead to 40 not with fear or trepidation, but sensing that there is a seismic shift happening somewhere, from which I have just begun to feel the tremors of change. I don’t fear destruction from this shift, but I’m curious and excited to see how the landscape is different on the other side. And I have questions. So many questions.

These questions, musings, and conversations with friends have led me here, to FORTYsomething, a place I hope to share honest conversations with other women about their experiences in midlife. From the vantage point of this middle place, one is old enough to look back in an attempt to understand and glean wisdom, but young enough to look ahead with wonder and curiosity, knowing there is still so much to learn. I hope you’ll join us as we ask questions and learn together, and that you’ll share your own thoughts and journey with us, too. You can do that by subscribing, commenting, and even being a part of the interview series. Watch for a call for interview participants soon.

Welcome to FORTYsomething. Let’s party like it’s 1985!